My Top 5 things I made sure to add to my Love List….get inspired to write yours!

By now you know it's no secret that I swear by aligning through a love list in all areas of life.  With today being the anniversary of my husband and I’s first date, what a better time to deep dive into a few specific things I included on my love list.  This is what I included and what I witnessed from my husband to help me know he was a match.

1. Love and Pride for his family- I wanted my man to be proud of his family name. His pride would ensure that I could “take up space” and hold pride for the family name that I would share with him.  How I knew: Not only was my husband proud of his name but when I met his family they were equally proud.  You walked up to the front door of his family home and a mat dawning “The Browns” met you there.  I knew I wanted to emulate that at my home and I also knew that wouldn’t have to be something I would have to wrestle with myself to give permission for. I could show up and embody that thought process and feeling that pride for our family name was just a normal thing.

2. Boundless love and affection- Prepared to be cringed but I wanted true out loud, cheesy, obsessed with each other love. I mean why not? I was in the game to spend the rest of my life with someone if you can’t have it with them than who?  How I knew: My husband was very reserved but he was so sweet while courting me it allowed me to show up softer and softer. His softness grew and one thing he made me sure of through action was that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for me that was within his power.  That he was never too proud to make a moment a “moment” for me.  On our 4th date my husband asked me to be exclusive with him on one knee and I knew life would never be the same with this man.

3. A forever student spirit- I know I’m called to do great things. I knew the man I would be with also would be.  In order to be called you can never stop learning.  For every area in life.  How I knew: My husband is absolutely called but he demonstrated to me that he wanted to study and learn about me in the same way he did the other areas of his life.  He had a curiosity and he showed that through listening and implementing daily.

4. Shared value and language: This is one of the things that makes me smile so much.  For those that don’t know our story my husband and I were friends for over 10 years before going out on our first date.  We had always been in relationships with other people.  We had such a deep friendship and respect for each other that we often worked together on community efforts and were regularly invited to the same events. How I knew: Before I said yes to a date with my husband I already saw his values at work in our community.  Before becoming exclusive I had already observed the language he regularly used.  We spoke the same language in more than one area. I smile because one of our favorite things to say separately is that “We love home”. People may know us to say it together now but the true power is that it was part of our individual language for many years before.

5. Commitment over perfect: My heart desires to be married forever. My desire was to find someone who equally wanted to be married forever.   Forever doesn’t have space for perfection as perfection tends to be guided by ego.  How I knew: Every challenge has been met with the commitment to work through it with longevity in mind. In our early dating before I knew we were going to get married this looked like making sure arguments were resolved in a way that I felt secure after. After being married this looks like knowing how to fight fair and no matter what commitment is what we both signed up for.

Now to be fair, did I include things around my desires for physical attraction and money -absolutely. Often while speaking to women and clients they start their love list based on listing things opposite to the experiences they have encountered. I.e I want a man that is honest as their last relationship ended dishonestly.  There is nothing wrong with this as the best teaching moments in life are our experiences however the place we list from is just as important as the list we make.  A regulated state says, I want an honest man but since honesty is already instilled in the high value man I would accept a date from over and beyond that I want……

Writing your list from a regulated state allows you the clarity to order from the desire counter.  That place where you are constantly seeking over and beyond what you know you deserve.  Not from a cocky standpoint but from a confidence.

Need help writing your love list to ensure you are taking stock of your “deserves” and “desires”? I recommend if you haven’t already to get a copy of The Aligned Living Playbook and Aligned Living Notebook.  The Playbook comes with a complimentary course module and The Notebook comes with access to the Higher self Next Era Book Club and our community space The Aligned Living Lounge.